Whistler
Question
Same-sex
couples wed in Whistler
Feature Story
Gay
partners from Washington, Alaska use coin flip to decide
which couple should be joined first - Nicole Davis
When
they first planned their trip to Whistler, Gary Gardner
and Tony Gilkinson had no idea that they would also celebrate
their wedding.
But
after the July 8 decision by the B.C. Court of Appeal
to lift a court-imposed one-year moratorium on same-sex
marriages, Gardiner and Gilkinson phoned their friends,
Kirt Beck and Roger Crandy, and the four decided to get
married and celebrate in Whistler.
On
Monday, the two couples were officially married by Marriage
Commissioner Louise Zinsli.
“We’ve
considered ourselves married ever since the day that we
did our own vows even though it wasn’t legally recognized.
Now, it’s incredible, very cool,” Beck said.
Since
they knew they were to be the first two same-sex weddings
to take place in Whistler, the decision as to who would
actually be the first was decided through the execution
of another time-honored tradition — flipping a coin.
“We
used a toonie — and all of us are rather large guys
with beards and we’re rather bearish — so there’s
the bear on one side and the Queen on the other side.
Kirt called the Queen,” Gardner said with a laugh.
Beck
and Crandy thus became the first same-sex couple to be
united in Whistler. Each couple witnessed the other’s
ceremony on Monday morning on Whistler Mountain, and none
could find fault with the experience.
When
she first got the call from Gilkinson about the weddings,
Zinsli didn’t know they were same-sex couples. When
Gilkinson called back the second time, he mentioned it
to her, and she jumped at the chance.
“Louise
didn’t shy away. She totally wanted to do it,”
Gilkinson said.
Zinsli
was worried about the wording of the marriage document,
which is decidedly heterosexual, using the words “bride”
and “bridegroom.”
“I
had a phobia of being insensitive with the wording, but
we used ‘union’ instead of ‘marriage’
and at the end I pronounced them ‘wed ded partners
for life,’ ” she said. “I’m glad I
had the opportunity because a week ago I was coming to
terms with it and they certainly helped me with that.”
“The
attitude at the RMOW (Resort Municipality of Whistler)
and elsewhere — they were as excited as we were,”
Gardner said.
Both
couples, each together for seven years, are Americans.
Gardner and Gilkinson are from Washington state. Beck
and Crandy are from Alaska. The fact that their marriages
are recognized here but not in their home states is a
painful reminder for the couples that they are sometimes
not seen as such.
“Where
it’s not legal, all he is to me is a roommate,”
Gilkinson said of Gardner.
For
the four, the recognition in society is what makes a same-sex
marriage equal to that of a heterosexual marriage. Even
though they were only married this week, they have been
planning on being together for the past seven years, in
ways that homosexual couples could do before the laws
were changed. They did that by putting assets into b oth
their names and including each other in their wills.
“Tony
and I have taken great pains to do all the legal stuff
so that if one of us dies the house goes to the other,”
Gardner said.
All
four men agreed that having the right to be married in
a legally recognized ceremony should help same-sex couples
feel better about themselves.
“Being
gay, even in this day and age, you’re still a second-class
citizen, and to have the authority of a society to say
you’re not a second-class person means a lot,”
Gardner said. “It is a very humbling experience to
have the Province of B.C. and the Government of Canada,
the people of Canada, recognize and value our relationship.”
Whistler
Question - July 24th 2003
